Seyi Law is no doubt basking in the success his career over the years and also enjoying marital bliss. The award winning comedian who has been married for five years to his beautiful wife, Stacy Ebere in an interview with NAIJ , advises youths on what they should look out for before they get married, challenges he has faced in his own marriage and much more.
What advice do you have for people about marriage?
I believe one of the greatest advice I have ever given about marriage is that nobody should marry into homes where there is no anchor person. A home where there is total disunity is not the right place to marry into. If you are dating somebody and there is nobody in that home you can talk to, there something is wrong. I am not sure you are getting into the right home. Whether we like it or not, African homes are built on family values. Once a home loses those values it is difficult to succeed in such homes.
The Yoruba are particular about inter-ethnic marriage, did you face that before getting married?
Sometimes, when God orchestrates something, it is just perfect. I will say it is divine. I have always loved something about the Igbo that I didn’t know it was going to translate into marriage for me. I love Igbo songs, people like Osadebe, Oliver de Coque. I remember one of Oliver de Coque’s songs plays in my head right from childhood. I grew up listening to those songs. One of my favourite songs is an Igbo Christian song. Thank God for the parents I have. My mom was not particular about tribe. She has always said she will never choose for her children. It is important that you make your own mistake and learn from them. It is also more important to look at the mistakes of those ahead of you and learn from them. My mother told us that they wanted her to marry somebody but she turned it down and married my dad. Now the person is late. You could imagine if she had married that person. She probably would have passed through a lot of challenges in her marriage but she has come out strong and she has drawn closer to God than ever. Because of that, she doesn’t worry about who you marry.
My dad who was particular about it changed his mind when he met my wife. I can tell you that my wife is the favourite daughter-in-law. That goes to show that tribe isn’t a judge of a person’s personality, but what the person has within. Good enough for me, my wife’s parents are great Christians. They weren’t particular about where their daughter would get married from. The most important thing for them was love and wellbeing of their daughter. That has really helped us.
Will you say marriage is sweet or not?
Marriage is sweet. I tell people, what you get out of marriage is what you want. There is no where it is written in the Bible that marriage will be sweet or bitter. It is your decision that makes it sweet or bitter. The moment we began to do the things that make marriage sweet, the better for us. Bitterness is not quarrel, even the instructions that God gave about marriage that husband should love their wives and wife submitting to their husband is like a contrast to what our human nature wants. Every man wants respect, but not every man wants love, that is the truth. A man can do away with love, the same way a woman will do away with respect but they cannot do away with love. It is in a man’s nature to want respect. He can do away with love. God is asking a woman to respect and a man to give love. It is what the woman really loves. What God asked the woman to give is what men lie, respect. Sometimes, women find it hard to respect and men find it hard to love. They are like contrast. It takes submission by both parties to give what is required in marriage. That also boils down to how well we can humble ourselves. What greater level of humility is being naked in front of each other and not being ashamed of each other. If we can see that among ourselves, then we can conqueror what is expected of us.
Can you share some of the challenges your marriage has faced in five years?
Basically I don’t call them challenges; I call them lessons to be learnt. We have had our ups and downs in the union. We have had times we had to fight each other. We have had times we had serious disagreements but the most important thing is that, we have been able to resolve them. Every passing day is a lesson and a blessing. In my own little way, I used to tell people that the first six months is probably the toughest.
Why did you say so?
I know what I passed through in the first six months of my marriage. At that point that we thought everything would have ended and then the grace of God kept us. We have been able to celebrate five years, despite the fact that people thought that the love will wear out when there are no children, but God has been faithful. I have a reason to celebrate her every day. She is so much an encouragement to me and my career. When a woman who is your wife will look at your face and tell you, you need jokes. That is a big challenge for improvement for you. She deserved all that I could do and I have done for her.